Fantasy of You

I'm in search of the constructive. The reason I declined the sales was because I felt something was off with it. However, since you simply looked to satisfy some immature ...

This is instantly forgettable fluff with a pastoral and conversational tone sprinkled throughout. It wanders randomly towards an end-goal only the writer must find satisfying. The secret is the key ...

The description + story-like first few stanzas are purposeful. I guess it's hit and me. Most have liked it, actually. But I'll take in on board.

Why are you posting a story you wrote three years ago? You can't take anything from it, and so it's pretty pointless to receive critiques on it. Post your new ...

Basically, dump the prologue in its entirity. You don't need it. Let me jump straight into the story, not jump into a bog of waffle. It's pretty simple. Keep what ...

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Almost every sentence is passive. Passive sentences make for a boring read. Fix them, it shouldn't be hard.